Reading time: 6 minuti
1) He respects you: respect is the most important value a human must have, towards those around him. Even if it seems a cliché, a person has to give the same respect to others that they would like to receive themselves. This feeling cannot be taken for granted in any type of relationship: it is conquered day by day, it is obtained with kindness, by reciprocating all that authentic willness of one who understands that love means accepting the other person as he or she is. First of all, it is useful to remember always that “No one deserves your tears and who deserves them certainly won’t make you cry“, as Gabriel Garcia Marquez wrote.
A respectful partner is primarily a person who is able to observe and listen without prejudice.
A man in love won’t only care about not hurting you, but he will also give you his support to let you grow firstly as a person and then as a couple.
2) He trusts you: the word trust derives from the Latin “fides” and means pact: so we are talking about a necessary bond which connects us with ourselves and with the external world. Trust is the base of a mature and healthy relationship, to the point that when it is lacking, there isn’t any certainty about the strenght of our romantic liaison. As a result, most of the time, without confidence, it is impossible to lay the foundations for love. The strength of trust is related to the amount of confidence we received in the early years In order that every relationship grows in a deep way, trust must be present: we need it, but also our partner needs it too. All the love in the world doesn’t make up for a lack of faith. When your lover trusts you, it means that he feels that sense of sureness which is requirement of a satisfying and empathic love affair.
3) He spends his time with you: the most precious present a person can give is to share his time with you. A man in love will always try to share beautiful moments with you without expecting anything in return, just because he wants it, because he chooses it, because you are his first priority. He will want to involve you in his passions and be present in your life. On the contrary, a person who stays with you only for his self interest will think to waste his time; so don’t be too tolerant with this kind of man. When someone is happy with a person, he or she has the feeling that the time spent together is an enrichment to, and not a subtraction from their life. Those who truly love “fill” your life, those who behave in a selfish way, are the opposite and make you feel empty!
4) He listens to you: listening is a key component of a relationship, since it allows you to create a real connection with your partner. a man in love will listen to what you have to say with interest and attention, whether it is about your day or about more serious topics. Listening is synonym of involvement, empathy and interest in getting close to the other because you consider him or her interesting. If the partner doesn’t listen, it means that he or she is not really participating in the relationship. Love is taking care of the other with active listening, presence and tenderness.
5) He esteems you: esteem is the supreme good of a rapport, it is the foundation of a happy and balanced love. Usually the esteem which is felt towards our partner is proportionate to our self-confidence: how highly you think of the other, is way you think of yourself! A mature and loving relationship is made up by two people who have self-respect, a requirement to be able to appreciate the other in an equal way. It should be no problem for a man in love to praise your qualities and to be happy for your successes. If your lover talks proudly about you with colleagues and friends, it is a sign of his love and esteem towards you.
6) He grants your space: a happy love is the one which lets you be yourself and mantain your interests so that you can share them with your partner. In love, personal needs mustn’t prevent the realization of your lover’s needs: it is necessary to create a balance which lets each of the two have a personal space in the relationship. Being together should be a state that makes both grow both individually and as a couple. A man in love is not afraid to give you your space since he has faith in himself and in your love. Don’t confuse love with an obsessive form of control; love with control is not love, but attachment. Love gives us the freedom to be ourselves so that we can start a (passionating trip in two..??).
7) He accepts you as you are: everyone is unique in their way of thinking, in their behaviours, in their feelings and experiences; our uniqueness is oof our strong points. Sometimes different points of view, if not managed in a healthy relationship, can lead to conflict and disappointment.
In love, it is important to accept differences as a meeting point to enrich each other. A person in love is one who welcomes the other as he or she is completely. One who truly loves you chooses you as you are and accepts every part of you, your qualities and your faults. Be careful not to persue relationships where your partner wants to change you: he could give you suggestions and be honest if he doesn’t like something, but should not try to change your nature. Real love, it considers and then finds common ground!
8) He is by your side: when your lover has feelings for you, he takes your side and protects you as if you are something precious and not a trophy to show in public. However, do not confuse being protective with being obsessive, because they are two completely different things. When a man is in love and is authentic, he will be very attentive towards you; he will make you feel special and will not expose you to uncomfortable situations with other people. If you have a difficult moment, he will be near you for support and help. Everyone is perfectly able to protect himself but it is comforting to know that our lover would do it for us.
9) He shows his love with his actions: words and declarations of love are always appreciated but become meaningless if not matched with little gestures which demonstrate the feelings we have for our partner. Gestures are very important in the building of a strong relationship passing from the early ‘crush’ stage to a deeper and aware love. In a romantic liaison words become bedfellows of actions, since love is nourished by daily gestures and not by expectations. In the early stages of a relationship it can be difficult, especially for a man, to say “i love you”, but this feeling grows little by little everyday There are people who think that love is expressed by, grand gestures, “all or nothing”. Well, the most fulfilling and happy relationships are the ones in which the bond is continuously renewed throught a smile, a look, an unexpected surprise. Sometimes it is better to demonstrate affection simply and honestly rather than with grand gestures but without heart-felt words. Who truly loves you, not only tells you, but shows you!
10) He displays his vulnerability: love lets us come into contact with ourselves and our emotions. Usually, a man is more cautious in showing feelings that can be interpreted as signs of weakness and vulnerability. Sensitivity is often seen as a weak point in men, but it is a strong point. Opening ourselves to our partner can make us feel vulnerable and exposed, but sensitivity in a relationship is the most important ingredient to get really intimate with someone. Starting a sentimental liaison whilst avoiding talking about personal fears and weaknesses means creating an situation which already lacks intimacy. In a healthy relationship, your lover won’t be afraid to show his sensitive side, because this will let him connect with you and lay the foundations for real love.